Relationships exist on a spectrum, from healthy to unhealthy to abusive — and everywhere in between. It’s hard to know where your relationship falls, especially if you haven’t dated a lot. The questions below will help you determine if you’re in a healthy or unhealthy relationship.

Is My Relationship Healthy?

In a healthy relationship:

  • Your partner respects you and your individuality
  • You are both open and honest
  • A good partner is not excessively jealous and does not make you feel guilty when you spend time with family and friends.
  • Your partner supports you and your choices even when they disagree with you
  • Both of you have equal say and respected boundaries
  • Your partner understands that you need to study or hang out with friends or family
  • You can communicate your feelings without being afraid of negative consequences
  • A good partner also compliments you, encourages you to achieve your goals and does not resent your accomplishments.

My partner doesn’t physically hurt me…does that mean I’m in a healthy relationship?

Just because there is no physical abuse in your relationship doesn’t mean it’s healthy. It’s not healthy if your partner:

  • Is inconsiderate, disrespectful or distrustful
  • Tries to control what you do, who you spend your time with, and what you wear
  • Humiliates you on Facebook or in front of your friends
  • Forces you sexually

Facts and statistics on Teen Dating Violence and Sexual Assault

(Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Physical Dating Violence Among High School Students – United States).

  • One in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence.
  • One in 10 high school students has been purposefully hit, slapped or physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend.
  • One quarter of high school girls have been victims of physical or sexual abuse.
  • Approximately 70% of college students say they have been sexually coerced.

There are serious long-lasting effects of dating violence.

  • Teens who have experienced dating violence are at higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior and further domestic violence.
  • Being physically or sexually abused makes teen girls six times more likely to become pregnant and twice as likely to get a STI.
  • 50% of youth who have been victims of both dating violence and rape attempt suicide, compared to 12.5% of non-abused girls and 5.4% of non-abused boys.

For more information about teens and dating violence, healthy and unhealthy relationships, go to